Tools against Fear

Traveling alone can be incredibly scary, and sometimes that fear can be immobilizing. So here are a few pointers for first time travelers and solo female travelers on how to feel the fear and do it anyway. 

Find a Mantra

This is something that I repeat to myself over and over in my mind, even if it is silly, it really helps. Some of my mantras are, 'I'm fine, this is normal' -- 'this too shall pass' -- 'you are ok, you are in a safe place because you have good instincts' -- 'I have a full ticket and can ride all of life's rides'. Now, these may not work for you, so a little trial and error is what needs to happen for you to find the right words that you can convince your mind you are ok. Some other ideas are to take a quote from a movie, or your favorite scripture or a quote that someone you love tells you all the time.

Have something physical with you that brings you comfort 

This is most ideal when you are able to transport or carry it easily. Mine tend to be my baby blanket made of the material my pajamas were made of when I was a child by my grandma, which I also ended up wearing when I had chicken pox (a very severe case of them might I add). I did get a little embarrassed carrying this into the doctor's office, thinking 'I'm 33 years old, I shouldn't be carrying a colorfully stripped baby blanket around', but you know what, if it helps you, then who cares what people think of it. Something else I carry around in my purse in a pocket on the side I can easily and discreetly slip my hand into is a small rock that feels like sandstone that I rub my fingers on. I spent quite a bit of time on the sandstone cliffs of the Red Rock National Park in Las Vegas and really have a lot of good memories from that. So for some reason, I found that when I touched this rock, it really gave me a sense of 'grounding', like being one with the earth and imagining myself drawing strength from this mountain that seems so immovable -- kind of like I want to be when these triggers happen.

If you are home, or traveling bring a scent associated with good memories

I usually turn to essential oils or small bottles that smell nice. My scents that I usually go for are 1- Lavender, not only because it is a naturally calming smell and is abundant in health food stores, but also because I associated it with my Grandma, who is a source of great comfort and strength. 2- is the scent of pine trees, I have a lot of good memories associated with pine trees, and find that when I am distressed and smell the scent of pine trees, it is almost like it transports me to another place.

Mindfulness

For a long time I thought this was a weird concept, but as I implement it more in my life I find it quite useful. I'm not perfect with it yet, as my triggers are still overwhelming at times, but for the day to day maintenance, it is a great tool. What is mindfulness? To me it means, being in the present & aware of your current surroundings and the fact that you are alive. What I do for this, is when I start to notice I get overwhelmed, or a co-worker is really grating on my nerves & I'm about to blow; I start naming things and my current story. For example, I am sitting at a desk, my feet are on the floor, my shoes are warm and comfortable, my left shoulder muscle is slightly tight, I hear the air blowing and the click of the keys as I'm typing. See even just doing it when I'm not stressed out or triggered is actually quite calming. Another way to do this is Naming 5 things you hear, 5 things you see, 5 things you feel & repeating this process for every number until you get to 1. After a while this concept became very important to me when I started getting flashbacks at work, or when trying to have fun with my friends. I use this technique for those moments.

Keep your mind busy

This is likely what most people do, avoid the thoughts, but it doesn't allow the mind to process them so they don't keep returning. In a way, it is like a drug addict taking pain medication so that they don't have to feel or care about anything in the moment. So be careful in the ways that you use this one as it can lead to pitfalls later in life, trust me. But for those moments when you are feeling like you just need a break from working on staying sane, keep your mind busy, like when I was at the doctors office, I played bejeweled, I opened the window shade and just stared out the window and noticed the trees and thought about all the hiking trips I wanted to go on. I called my Dad, I texted my mom, and looked at pictures of my dog, and cleaned up a lot of non-personal useless photos that have been sitting in my phone forever. There are lots of things that you can do that do not require money and are highly portable.

Meditate

I'm still working on this one, I have a very hard time sitting around and doing nothing and trying to keep my mind to 'stand still'

Sleep

you can't sleep your life away, but getting a good night's sleep is probably the best thing I do when I want to maintain my sanity. I'm talking a minimum of 6 hours with ideal being 8 hours of sleep. If you have trouble falling asleep try Melatonin, or 5-HTP, or go to your doctor and see what options are available to you. Most of the time if you are on a Sleep aid for a week, your bodies natural chemicals that help you sleep will re-align themselves and you can stop the sleep aid after 1 week.